got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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