the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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