Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
