They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
