We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
