I'm jealous of your bromance
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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