You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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