i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
