How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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