I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
