My sheets look like a crime scene.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
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Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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