I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
