Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
