I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
