have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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