I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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