I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
