yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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