I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
