similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
