Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
