So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
