Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
