Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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