I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
