True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
