Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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