so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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