On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
