I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
