At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
