were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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