What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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