I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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