Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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