In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
