update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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