Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
