Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Blue_Eyed_Girl17 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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(415): View more from California

what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance

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(203): View more from Connecticut

franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?

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(620): View more from Kansas

Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.

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(410): View more from Maryland

IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS

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(804): View more from Virginia

We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.

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