She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
