We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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