Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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