He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
