Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
