No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
