everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
