I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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