I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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