Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
