He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
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Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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