Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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