Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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