I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
