My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
