I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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