Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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