Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
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It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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