You just made me feel so damn special
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
