i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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