no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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