at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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