Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
